“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realisation that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.” — Denis Waitley
Whilst we’re not always in control of the currents of life, we have the power to direct our reaction to what unfolds by greeting life’s changes with openness. While we have limited control over certain aspects of life, by casting the arrow, as it were, we surrender to the forces of life to direct the unfolding of events — that is where the arrow will land. This simple metaphor reminds us of our role as co-creators of our life’s events, although in a number of ways we ultimately surrender control to a greater power, which takes care of the details. You might call it fate, destiny, pre-determinism or a higher intelligence.
In order to accept control of our life, we ought to inhabit our body by aligning with our mental and emotional self. We are present by owning our thoughts and emotions — we don’t dismiss them as an inconsequential facet of our being. Does this principle work for you by way of seeing yourself as the director and producer of your life’s narrative? When I discuss inhabiting our body, I refer to a state of ownership and connection of our mind and body. I also refer to being present and grounded in the moment, not at the mercy of our past or future thoughts or similarly any runaway emotions which vie for our attention.
When we inhabit our body we do not require stimulants to create an ideal physical state. Being in our body means honouring our natural gene expression as nature intended. We are in command of our thoughts and emotions. We do not blame others for the way they treat us, since we assume ownership of co-creating every experience in our life. It is said we coach others how to treat us. If we frequently play the victim saying: “He/she is responsible for the way I act or feel” we deprive ourselves the potential to enjoy life since we are at the mercy of others. We yield power to others and lose sight of our self-worth. As we surrender our power, others will use it according to their level of awareness. That is, we bind ourselves to others by assuming control of the relationship rather than being a balanced union.
In many ways it is fundamental we release past mistakes and regrets so as not to carry them into the future. The present is our gateway to the future. What occurred in the past resides merely as nothing more than a memory. To replay the past by inviting it into the present moment is not conducive to living a remarkable life. Otherwise we are held captive by our thoughts and emotions when we habitually replay past memories. Thoughts and emotions create a kaleidoscope of chemical reactions within our body that influence our genetic destiny. Releasing the past entails making peace with the past and learning from the wisdom gained from our experiences. It invites us to bring love to the process by letting go of hurt or anger or any other untoward emotional states. Knowing that, what are you holding on to now that could be let go of, and transformed?
The lesson from our experience served its part in our soul’s journey toward personal growth. The present moment contains the seed of opportunity, which invites us into the future. If we re-live the past through toxic thoughts, we deny the future from making its way into our life, since our frame of reference is stuck in the past.
Roll With The Punches
“In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.” — Shing Xiong.
Our minds cannot dwell in two places at the same time. It cannot live with past regrets and strive toward future happiness. We must liberate ourselves of one and subsequently another door opens to transport us into our future. The mental and emotional energy required to live in the past is lost on opportunities that are better served for our future. To get out of our own way represents dropping the resistance brought to each moment. Through our resistance to life, we block the goodness unveiling itself through us. For example, do you struggle with the concept of universal intelligence working in your favour because of your focus on the negative aspects of life’s events?
Our perception creates and colours our reality. What we focus and dwell upon becomes our focal point; irrespective of whether it is good or bad. As we relinquish the need to control outcomes, we accept what permeates through our life as valuable lessons contained within each experience. Our lessons become the experience we are having right now. Like it or hate it, the universe brings us this experience for our personal growth and is vested in the expansion of our connection to the deepest aspect of our nature. How we respond to the experience serves as our lesson.
Similarly, our lesson may not be packaged in the form we might expect. For example, if it is in our interest to learn the value of friendship, we may find ourselves in opposition with a close friend with whom we do not share the same outlook. In such a way universal intelligence assumes this experience as vital to help us accept our personal power within the friendship.
We may be presented with the opposite experience of what we expect the lesson to be. The boxing metaphor, rolling with the punches encompasses accepting what shows up in our life as a valuable lesson that serves our highest growth. Wisdom has taught me that every time I refused an important life lesson, I’ll be given a new one disguised in different form. Have you seen evidence of this in your own life? Sometimes it may not appear in the way you expect so its important to pay close attention. It is worth appreciating, to create a remarkable future we expend less energy toward material possessions, people or circumstances which do not matter. If it does not feel right, we let it go — we follow the wisdom of our heart by feeling our way in to the experience.
A quote by Dave Ramsey reminds us of the need to please others at the risk of a contracted self-worth: “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.” Can you identify with this quote? It involves courage to go against the crowd and stand for something different.
Time To Move In A New Direction
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.” — Robert Louis Stevenson.
People might try to influence us by telling us we are unable to achieve a certain goal or dream. We mustn’t waste time validating ourselves by succumbing to this way of being. The energy required to validate ourselves stems from resistance and is futile to living a compelling future. Rather, we ought to pursue that which brings us joy. Thinking with our heart invites us to feel the world instead of think of the world. We connect with our feelings often — feel our way toward a fulfilling job, career, relationship, life etc. How does it feel when you consider each of these scenarios? Your feelings are accurate representations of your call to action.
We must also be consistent in our pursuit of the truth and a way of life that serves our potential. If we desire to be the best in our chosen field, we should practice daily or as Malcolm Gladwell advises in Outliers — embrace the 10,000 hour rule while focusing on deliberate practice in order to be world class. It is sensible to not accept anything less than our best insofar as our heart’s desire. We should find a way; create a new path if none exists. Recognising when a pursuit is futile is equally important. Sometimes it may be vital to relinquish our current path in order to follow a new path. This simply means we have ventured down the path as far as it will lead us and it is now time to move in a new direction.
Life may pull us away from what seems like a futile cause in order to provide us with a valuable skill to use in another area. An unexpected U-turn may pose as a blessing in disguise and does not imply that all is lost. Upon reflection and with the passing of time, we see the value of the experience. We must strive to create the life we deserve with enthusiasm — create it with unbridled passion towards the process of life. We become inspired in our pursuit of our ideal future, since motivation alone is insufficient to create a compelling and powerful dream. Motivation wanes as the going gets tough. Inspired people harness the power of infinite creativity as the source of their wisdom, often with less effort and greater reward. Motivation and inspiration exists on the other side of our fears, doubts and anxieties —so we must be bold and approach life with vigour and enthusiasm.
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