The Counter Offer Conundrum

Counter offers can be a real headache to handle just when you think you have got over the finish line following an intense interview process!

It is an emotional time, you have made a big decision to join a new business and are all motivated to start this new chapter then wallop, you get curved balled with a counter offer that upsets the positive rhythm you were in. 

How nice of them to offer

It certainly can be flattering, you are effectively being competed for and can give you confusing emotions when put in this position. On one hand, you have committed to a new employer and have exciting career options ahead, a fresh start if you will. The other hand suggests your present employer who, no doubt has strong business and personal reasons to retain you, appears to want you to stay on with them?

“What should I consider?”

We suggest you start by thinking about what led you to be in this position in the first place, what propelled you to make that job application and enter an interview process and what has changed about that scenario?

In most cases the initial reasons are still valid ie lack of career progression, less staff support and more job responsibilities, perceived negative changes to the job role you had once held, to suggest just a few. As a result of this financial counter offer, what has changed?  

Using the above scenarios, more money now will not address those issues, you will still have the scenarios mentioned to contend with, only this time with more income in your pocket. It will paper over the cracks, not resolve them, your issues will return to haunt you based on a pure money uplift.

“What do other people do?” 

Increases in pay do get accepted in everyday counter offer situations, in fact well over 50% of them that are financially based are accepted when presented. So money does talk, to a point, but it rarely resolves issues.

Financial and economic climates may have bearing on this, in times of recession it might feel good, even wise to accept the extra income and not rock the boat on on something familiar, it certainly isn’t black and white and requires a great degree of thought.

You have likely made very calculated decisions to get to this point and you have considered the risks before getting to this stage. Are you really rocking the boat or are you being asked to question your own judgments? 

“What have I just gone through to get this position?”

It should be said at this point, why have you emotionally had to do so much to leave a business in order to receive financial gain? Does it feel right to be rewarded for this action when your day-to-day work hasn’t been rewarded? How hard will it be to see the next pay rise? What will you have to do to receive a pay increase? The questions start to build up and so they should, it may be an issue beyond you and your line management, it may take a long time to improve, well beyond a reasonable timescale for you to sit around.

“What about your current employer after you accept their counter offer?”

For them an initial problem is thwarted, having to replace you would be costly or inconvenient or both however, beyond this there can be challenges ahead.

It can have negative connotations with your peers at work, if colleagues work out what has happened they can become jealous of this enhancement to your finances and attitudes toward you can change. 

Quite often your line manager has felt pressured over this scenario too, you have spent more of their budget than planned now they have counter-offered you, perhaps they have also had difficult conversations internally with their line managers ie “why did you let this situation occur with this member of your team”, they may well be feeling the pressure despite being the one to fight for your counter offer, in time they can feel less rewarded for you staying as these issues emerge. 

It can also be suggested that your loyalty toward them may now be questioned, their trust in you reduced as they are more reserved about relying on you as you once knew. All this can result in a strained longer-term relationship compared to the one you had, something that deteriorates further over time.

“So what happens with offers that are accepted?”

If you look at various sources and articles on financially accepted counter-offers, an extremely high percentage of people still exit a business within a year of accepting the initial counter offer being accepted. Many of the reasons we have just highlighted explain this. Each case is different of course but the likelihood is that parting company will be the end result.

In the meantime, you have likely lost the initial role you interviewed for and were offered.

“How do I handle the counter offer with my employer?”

Let us assume you receive that financial counter-offer, what can you do?

Firstly be polite and professional, thank them for the offer but ask for some time to consider it, discuss it with your family, partner, etc this is a potentially huge decision and you have major interested parties involved, you need to respect all and that someone will need to be let down in the end, this will require good reason and considerable thought by you. 

You can also request the counter offer be put in writing, as your new job offer is in writing you need to compare like with like, you shouldn’t just rely on a conversation, contractual matters are at stake here and verbal conversations mean nothing legally, you do not want to cut off a genuine offer for a broken promise that cannot be kept. It isn’t unknown that employers over promise on matters they haven’t jurisdiction for.

These actions will give you some valuable breathing space and time for you to think matters through logically.

“You feel confident, the new job is the right move, what do you do now?”

Prepare for your conversation but place your thoughts in writing also, this reaffirms your intent to resign, again thank them for the counter offer and politely explain that after great consideration and despite the generous offer that the original reasons for your will not be addressed by such a financial gesture. If you feel comfortable you can highlight your concerns with the potential negatives of remaining off the back of a financial counter offer (we discussed these earlier). 

In addition, you may also be able to identify differences in the two working environments and mention these, perhaps you now have easier career progression routes, more working flexibility or perhaps company values that align to you more now as you have now changed as a person over time and from when you first joined your current employer. It is hard to challenge these if they are contributing factors. 

Closing thoughts

When you plan to exit, be prepared for this scenario, think about it before it happens, it may not happen at all but running through this situation will help contain a lot of issues should it pop up. Remain considerate yet factual, professional and polite, resign on good terms if you can and show you have given plenty of consideration. It isn’t a nice feeling even for an employer to be dealt with in a cold fashion, after all, people with good intentions often have to manage these situations after you have gone, you will be remembered for this moment so make it as positive as possible. 

One last thing, remember your futures may cross paths again, if you exit well you may have the door left ajar for a future return, if you exit negatively bridges may well be burnt and this door will likely be shut forever.  We suggest in most cases that most employment has been good, you have colleagues you will want to stay in touch with and care for. The whole place is not likely to be a bad egg, it is more likely it no longer ticks your boxes. Practically you may want references and endorsements from colleagues too, this may benefit your future employment and credibility so we again suggest that you try to leave as smoothly as you can. 

You should also celebrate this moment if possible, leaving can be a reflection of the good times you had and the people you met and supported. Your and their journeys will go on, albeit on slightly different paths now. It is okay in most circumstances to enjoy this new era.